EENA is launching a new interview-series to help you understand the challenges faced by EENA members. This morning, we welcomed to the EENA offices our long-time member and friend Mr Maryusz Francesco Bodganis Király, Director of a multi-awarded 112 PSAP.

Gary Machado (GM): Maryusz, welcome. First, I wanted to ask you: how would you rate the modernity of the 112 service you manage?

MFBK: Well, it’s hard to compare of course, Gary. But I would say we are probably the best in the world. Our PSAP is state-of-the-art: our team is equipped with computers, headsets, printed maps and a highly reliable system (9,9999999%); there’s a reason it has not changed since 2001. Weirdos 98 remains our most valued software, allowing us to face 21st century challenges head-on.

GM: Many of our members have been complaining for years about poor location accuracy. According to you, what should be done?

MFBK: It is unacceptable that we have such poor accuracy of location. What this means is that we often don’t know where the callers are so we can’t send help. But, Gary, we cannot solve this alone. This is why we ask Gogle, Aple, Macrosoft, XBOW, Playstadium, Adidos, the European Contrition, Elon Tusk and Barack O’Hara for help. We need them to develop tools for accurate location, to provide them for free and to do it as soon as possible (and a coffee with milk please!). Every second counts! We cannot wait any longer.

GM: I agree completely. If you had opened your emails in the last two years, you would have heard about Advanced Mobile Location, which is available on all the phones in the world using the Paranoid OS. What is your current approach to deployment?

MFBK: Trust me when I tell you we are following this very closely, and we have been doing so since August 2015. My colleagues are just back from holidays. As we speak, they are brainstorming and they will produce a half-a-page background note, which should be available by Q3 2018. Afterwards, we will start looking at legal issues, with strong emphasis on privacy. We need to make sure we can locate callers without knowing where they are!

GM: I feel for you Maryusz. What else?

MFBK: Once this is done, we intend to align the deployment timeframe with the full upgrade of our PSAP system to Weirdos Millennium, which should be finalised by 2024. Considering that AML is free, we must update the legislation to welcome this new way of working and this absence of cost.

AML should be fully deployed (in one province) by 2037. By that time, I hope Paranoid people still give cookie names to their OS, as we have heavily invested in a team of lawyers who are trying to confirm that cookie names are acceptable to send us accurate location data with a 68% confidence rate.

GM: Maryusz, we at EENA want to thank you for your commitment to improving the 112 system and for presenting such a coherent and ambitious plan. You can count on us for our continued – and apparently very long-term – support!



This is a satire article with the aim to draw attention to problematic emergency location in several countries and their inaction to address this.

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